This is going to be a different post from usual. I’m in a bit of a dilemma these days. I’m in the 11th grade, where we need to choose one of three streams: Science, Commerce or Arts. I’ve chosen Science, mostly because my entire life people have told me you should be an engineer. My father is an engineer and when he was a student wanted to go to a prestigious university called the Indian Institute of Technology, IIT. There are several of these IITs across a country and the exam to get into it is written by at least 1.5 million people of which, only 20,000 get in. I have no desire to go to one but since I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to do with my life, I thought I’ll do what everyone tells me to, which is, prepare for that dreaded exam to get into an IIT.
In India, there are hundreds of coaching centres that prepare you for this entrance exam. So additional to school, I go for this class for 4 hours everyday. And I hate it. I can cope with school okay enough but nothing at class makes any sense to me. It seems like a bunch of gibberish. I get by (barely) in math and chemistry but physics makes no sense to me. So I got a tutor, additional to school and coaching class to teach me physics. While my tutor is lovely and extremely patient with me, I still don’t get it. Physics is still a mystery to me. He tries so hard but I just don’t understand.
I still don’t know what I want to do with my life but I know for sure that isn’t this. I feel miserable everyday because I do badly at exams at class, whenever I read my physics book, I feel like crying because I just cannot understand. I’ve spoken to my parents about how much I hate going to class but they keep saying “give it time, it’ll get better.” It’s been 7 months and I’m still as bad at this stuff as I was then.
Now if I really wanted to do engineering I would try harder, I’d give it my all and try to improve. But I just don’t care enough about it. My parents think engineering is the easiest way to get a job immediately after college which is why they’re forcing me into this. While they do have good intentions, I can’t live my entire life doing something I’m not good at and have no interest in.
So I need your help. How do you convince your parents that you don’t want to spend your life as an engineer when you’re not really sure what you want to do instead?