I need help.

This is going to be a different post from usual. I’m in a bit of a dilemma these days. I’m in the 11th grade, where we need to choose one of three streams: Science, Commerce or Arts. I’ve chosen Science, mostly because my entire life people have told me you should be an engineer. My father is an engineer and when he was a student wanted to go to a prestigious university called the Indian Institute of Technology, IIT. There are several of these IITs across a country and the exam to get into it is written by at least 1.5 million people of which, only 20,000 get in. I have no desire to go to one but since I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to do with my life, I thought I’ll do what everyone tells me to, which is, prepare for that dreaded exam to get into an IIT.

In India, there are hundreds of coaching centres that prepare you for this entrance exam. So additional to school, I go for this class for 4 hours everyday. And I hate it. I can cope with school okay enough but nothing at class makes any sense to me. It seems like a bunch of gibberish. I get by (barely) in math and chemistry but physics makes no sense to me. So I got a tutor, additional to school and coaching class to teach me physics. While my tutor is lovely and extremely patient with me, I still don’t get it. Physics is still a mystery to me. He tries so hard but I just don’t understand.

I still don’t know what I want to do with my life but I know for sure that isn’t this. I feel miserable everyday because I do badly at exams at class, whenever I read my physics book, I feel like crying because I just cannot understand. I’ve spoken to my parents about how much I hate going to class but they keep saying “give it time, it’ll get better.” It’s been 7 months and I’m still as bad at this stuff as I was then.

Now if I really wanted to do engineering I would try harder, I’d give it my all and try to improve. But I just don’t care enough about it. My parents think engineering is the easiest way to get a job immediately after college which is why they’re forcing me into this. While they do have good intentions, I can’t live my entire life doing something I’m not good at and have no interest in.

So I need your help. How do you convince your parents that you don’t want to spend your life as an engineer when you’re not really sure what you want to do instead?


2 thoughts on “I need help.

  1. Oh gosh, I’m sorry that I’m so late in seeing this. And I’m so sorry you’re going through a tough time with your parents, school, and career decisions that will impact your life. I have to admit that I don’t really have any advice in how you should approach your parents since my dad has always been supportive of all my academic and career decisions. I’m sorry that you’re miserable every day but hopefully, like Marie said, your parents notice this? Sit down and tell them that even though engineering offers stability after school you can’t see yourself doing this for the rest of your life happily. Even though they may think this path is the right decision for you hopefully they’ll take your happiness as their daughter in consideration. Anyway, again, so sorry to hear this, Shotobhisha! Good luck and, though it takes me some time to respond, I’m here if you ever need to chat. ❤


  2. Wow, that’s a difficult situation you’re in, I’m sorry 😦 it’s already been a while since you started this, your parents should see how miserable and sad it makes you, with time, no? It may be an easy way to get a job after college, but if it doesn’t make you happy, then what’s the point? You should really insist on that to your parents. In the end, they just want your happiness. They think they’re making it easier, forcing you into this so you can get a job quickly, but if you don’t feel like this is the job for you, if you’re struggling, then try maybe and explain to them clearly why you don’t like it, the pressure you’re feeling, and how you don’t feel like this is the right path for you. I’ve never been in this situation, so I can’t speak from experience or give you any more personal tips, but I hope this helps. Maybe you should look up other things that could interest you more, so this way you have another argument to add to the discussion? Make lists of things you like, look up some job offers, some studies, think about what you like to do and your qualities. I’m sure you’ll come up with some ideas! Even if they’re not life-plans already, at least you have some ideas you can give to your parents, and tell them there are other things that could eventually interest you, and make you happier 🙂
    Well, sorry for the long comment, and I hope this helped a little bit. If I have super convincing arguments coming up, I’ll make sure to let you know, haha! Good luck, ❤ ❤


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