Books · Reviews

Anything You Want by Geoff Herbach || Taco is a Teletubby

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Status: DNF
Rating: 1.5 stars

Summary:

Expect a bundle of joy—er, trouble—in this hilarious, heartwarming story from the award-winning author of Stupid Fast Geoff Herbach

Taco’s mom always said, “Today is the best day of your life, and tomorrow will be even better.” That was hard to believe the day she died of cancer and when Taco’s dad had to move up north for work, but he sure did believe it when Maggie Corrigan agreed to go with him to junior prom. Taco loves Maggie- even more than the tacos that earned him his nickname. And she loves him right back.

Except all that love? It gets Maggie pregnant. Everyone else may be freaking out, but Taco can’t wait to have a real family again. He just has to figure out what it means to be a dad and how to pass calculus. And then there’s getting Maggie’s parents to like him. Because it would be so much easier for them to be together if he didn’t have to climb the side of the Corrigans’ house to see her… 

I haven’t DNF’d a book in a long time but this one was ridiculous.

The main character, Taco (yes, he’s called Taco .-.), is, putting it lightly, extremely positive. He’s the embodiment of a Teletubby, but less mature and more annoying. I’m all for characters being happy but not at all times. Does he have no emotional depth? I’m all for characters that say “dingus” every few words, if they’re five. Well, his name is Taco . . .

The book is 320 pages long, half of which are vivid descriptions of Taco and his girlfriend Maggie having sex. A lot of it. But neither of them, despite being fully functional teenagers, have any idea about Birth Control or have even considered the fact that pregnancy is a possibility. Both were so so so immature, it was almost hard to read. Taco genuinely felt like a six year old in the body of a teenager. There were times where Maggie blatantly asked him to leave her alone, but he didn’t understand. Who put the boy in high school?! The reason for his unusually high level of optimism is supposed to be the fact that his mother told him to live like the day was his last, and he wants to spend all his days happy but he was overdoing it to the point where I couldn’t take anything he was saying or doing seriously.

Another thing that really bothered me was that the only reason Taco “loved” Maggie because she had a perfect body and was very attractive. He didn’t seem to see her as a person, just as a Grecian goddess who he occasionally always has sex with.

A redeeming feature of the book is the writing style. Herbach has his way of making words flow naturally, making the read quicker. Unfortunately, the writing wasn’t good enough to salvage this hot mess of a story.

While the cover and the description promise a light hearted, bittersweet, funny high school story, the actual story is in absolute shambles. Though it has a great premise, this story is a real disappointment.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me a copy in exchange for an honest review.

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